October 2009
@mistaobseen
To answer the question you have yet to ask:
Mariah Carey, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in person
Heidi Klum, before the baby, she was a little rough looking before hair/makeup but was a knockout on set, also she was by far the best talent on set
Giada, from the Food Network, was really pretty and fairly easy to work with, I didn’t spend much time on that set
Karen Ann, who...
@theabstract
Yes to both. Lou was way nicer than I thought. Whoopie totally could have gotten me fired. She didn’t, she was cool (I think my crying helped).
“fuck i love japan. http://bit.ly/1N9FSe”
– joeminkie
MARRY ME?
It seems Urlesque is hiring freelance writers (snap, experienced writers?). While this is a dream come true it leaves me with the arduous task of writing a resume. I haven’t written a proper one in years .
Maybe I can just name drop and tell them the time Whoopie Goldberg caught me in her bathroom (don’t worry, I didn’t commence with any activity), or the time I got Lou Reed a...
me: I think I'm gonna start folling Gary Vee and just like all his shit...
me: someday
him: what for?
me: Gary
me: ?
me: just cause
me: girls w'be all like, "Why you follow Gary V?"
me: and I'd be all like, "Here, have some wine..."
me: and then I'd pour an imaginary bottle
me: into their not-holding-a-glass hand
me: and then smile
me: and call out flustered, "THERE'S NO ROOFIES IN THAT!"
him: no roofies
me: Roofie jokes, not roofies...
him: roofie a cat and put duct tape on it
him: THEN rape it
me: AND WIN THE INTERNET
September 2009
⚍
IT'S MIDNIGHT
I have to wake up at 4am.
This is not good.
How to use Twitter.
jimrock:
Go to Twitter.com
Don’t be super old.
Vomit.
Don’t forget to troll for celebrity attention
Hitler was a woman! →
(via ben)
Something about Samara in the well and me never going to sleep ever again.
a6h0575h1p
Say hi to me on AIM before I go to bed
I dare you to give me nightmares.
I really want to get Ardour. And if I get it I’ll feel bad if I don’t pay for it.
I hope it doesn’t suck.
Tuna-free dolphin
youngmanhattanite:
Regarding the new documentary, The Cove; is the issue that they’re killing and eating dolphins, period? Is that illegal? Dolphins are not endangered species. In fact, tuna are more threatened than dolphins. Is it because of Flipper? That was one crafty dolphin.
The internet tells me dolphins are closer to humans than previously thought.
3 tags
whatcriscilikes:
Dear Internet….let this go. It’s over.
Never.
(as long as their are zingers coming down the pipe)
youngmanhattanite:
Phew, the crisis is over.
It’s not over until This American Life does a story on it being over.
And Weekend Update gets a really funny quip in about it.
In Which We Thank God On This Holiest Of Days That...
michaelorell:
You think that the Zuckerburg quote was real.
Tekiah Gedolah.
Har Har Foster.
You had me at cockwaffles.
“Throw in some champagne and ludes and I can start immediately.”
– — Anastasia Friscia, on starting as a YM intern
Can I pick you up on my bike?
youngmanhattanite:
Woody Allen marrying his adopted daughter is the poor man’s Roman Polanksi drugging and raping a 13-year old girl. Poor Woody, always in the shadow of the European directors.
I wasn’t drinking anything, but I spit-up some coffee.
It’s funny to make jokes about marriage to women, right?
They don’t take that stuff too seriously, right?
youngmanhattanite:
anastasiafriscia:
Who’s Roman Polanski?
We can pay you $150 a week, but it includes apartment cleaning. When can you start?
Stand back, I wanna marry this one!
“Does nobody understand?”
– James Joyce’s last words (via bikerfish)
youngmanhattanite:
Anyway, let’s circle it back to Polanski and ask the obvious question: were the 13 year old girls weaker in the 70s?
Immaterial! Nobody was 13 in the 70s! And if they were they were doing better acid.
What’s really important is how strong will weed be when we make it legal?
KMFDM
(via realrealsoft)
Truly.
Forever.
“i put peaches “fuck the pain away” on the juke box last night at the...”
– Brandi Lee
“Shut the fuck up and actually monetize, cockwaffles.”
– Young Manhattanite
“I love that the subversive act of the 21st century in the subway is not...”
– Jonathan Zittrain, a director at Harvard’s Berkman Center, in the NYTimes. (via benjaminstein)
“As for your Twitter’s Trending Topics remarks and specifically your example, I...”
– Greg G: Facebook Attrition and Twitter Trends
Game, set, match
i'm gonna be dan from roseanne for halloween, but...
(via bringtheruckuss)
This plus a high school wresting uniform.
Avec codpiece.
