If you were to ask me for what reason I moved to New York the most honest, simple answer I could give you would be I can get a sandwich at anytime of day.

Sometime when I was a kid I heard Nicolas Cage met Patricia Arquette while both of them were getting a sandwich late night in a New York deli. I was amazed, not at how to celebrities could meet one another in Manhattan delis (to be fair, before they were celebrities) (well before Patricia Arquette was a celebrity). No, I was amazed that you could buy food so late at night.

I don’t know why I’m so taken by guaranteed impulse meals but it seems to be a lot freer then waiting around for a reasonable hour to have someone else make your food. But that’s who I was as a kid, wanting for someone to wait on me at my convenience. Perhaps you could say this city is perfect for me. Perhaps you could say I’m a selfish asshole who would just needs to think a little farther ahead when considering some late-night snacking. I think you’d be right on both counts.

Mostly because you’re a judgy asshole yourself.